The Advice shared by My Parent That Saved Me when I became a New Parent

"I believe I was simply trying to survive for the first year."

One-time Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the challenges of becoming a dad.

However the truth soon proved to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her main carer as well as caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… every walk. The job of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he burnt out. It was a chat with his parent, on a park bench, that helped him see he required support.

The simple words "You are not in a good spot. You require support. What can I do to help you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and start recovering.

His situation is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. Although the public is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on mothers and about PND, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan thinks his challenges are linked to a broader inability to open up among men, who still internalise harmful notions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and stays upright time and again."

"It is not a sign of weakness to request help. I failed to do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - most notably in preference to a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the chance to ask for a respite - spending a couple of days overseas, away from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He realised he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's emotions in addition to the practical tasks of taking care of a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she needed" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now composing Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son better understand the expression of emotion and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says bottling up emotions caused him to make "poor actions" when in his youth to modify how he was feeling, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as an escape from the hurt.

"You gravitate to things that don't help," he explains. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, speak to a friend, your spouse or a therapist what you're going through. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the things that made you feel like yourself before having a baby. It could be exercising, meeting up with mates or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical health - eating well, getting some exercise and when you can, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your emotional health is doing.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their journeys, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - taking care of you is the best way you can look after your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having not spoken to him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead provide the stability and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - processing the frustrations constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they faced their issues, transformed how they communicate, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I think my purpose is to instruct and tell you on life, but actually, it's a dialogue. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."